Ten mistakes you might be making in bed
We asked thousands of Aura fans what their biggest turn offs were and wow, did you have something to say!
At Aura, we love an open, honest conversation about sex, even the sticky bits, so we wanted to share the top ten turn offs.
1. “Mummy” and “Daddy”
Lots of people reported being asked to call someone “Mummy” or “Daddy", or being called this themselves in the bedroom. This is a classic case of something that can make your night or kill the mood completely, depending on what you and your partner(s) are into.
Key takeaway: If you want someone to call you Mummy or Daddy, or you want to call them Mummy or Daddy, talk about it before you get into the bedroom. Don’t spring it on them mid-coitus!
2. Being rough without asking
This came up a lot. Too many people have had their hair pulled, their partners choke them, or worse, without consent. Forget what you've seen in porn. There’s nothing sexy about sexual assault.
If you want to be rough, talk about it outside the bedroom in an open, accepting way that doesn't put pressure on your partner to do anything they don’t want to do. Enthusiastic consent is everything.
3. Bad hygiene
We’ve probably all walked the line on this one at some point. Shower free festival sex anyone? Morning breath? Smelly feet? We know, personal hygiene might be the last thing on your mind when your partner starts unbuttoning, but unbrushed teeth, unpleasant smells, and dirty nails are some of the number one moment killers according to hundreds of responders on Aura's Instagram.
4. Not listening
If something’s worked in the past it can be tempting to stick to it. But everybody is different. And if your partner tells you what they want, being a good lover means listening and trying to do what they ask. If they haven't told you, it’s good idea to ask. This might feel awkward at first, but it almost always leads to better sex.
Like saying “Daddy” this is definitely a talk about it first decision. If you're not especially into spit, but looking for lubrication, make sure to buy high quality personal lube in advance. We recommend Aura's market leading silky smooth lubricant. It feels fantastic, and leaves your skin gently moisturised.
You should never feel pressured to perform in a way that doesn’t feel natural to you in bed. If fake moaning like a porn star isn’t your thing, you shouldn’t do it. But absolute silence can be a little uncomfortable. If you’re not a grunter, moaner, or general noise maker, try just letting your partner know how much you’re enjoying them.
7. Being selfish
If you're looking to be a good lover, it's always important to try and pleasure your partner. If your partner has a vulva, using a vibrator during foreplay and sex is often a great way to ensure they reach a knee shaking climax. You can check out Aura's five-star reviewed, easy to use vibe, below. Called by Grazia, the best sext toy for women!
8. “I owe you an orgasm”
Although the sentiment may sound nice, lots of people brought this up as something that really bothered them. It can make sex feel transactional, which isn’t very romantic or healthy. Or in the words of one responder, "I'm a person, not a vending machine."
9. Bad dirty talk
In general, if your partner winces when you try to dirty talk them, it’s probably best to stop. If you want to get it right, ask them what kind of thing they like to hear in bed before sex, if anything. Hearing what they want you to say to them can actually be a great form of foreplay.
10. The animal audience
Last but not least, let's keep the pets out of it. There’s nothing worse than being watched in bed by a confused dog.
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