There’s one piece of sex advice you hear so often it’s practically a cliché: just tell them what you want! Communication, communication, communication. Simple, right?
Well, not for everyone. Talking about what we want in bed can feel difficult for a lot of reasons. It can feel awkward, or embarrassing and it can be hard to articulate exactly what you want.
That’s why Team Aura’s here with two dont’s and one do for that chat.
1. Don’t be drunk
We’re not saying you can’t have one glass of wine to relax before trying to talk to your partner but you’ll want to be sober to make sure you’re being honest, and ready to manage any feelings of rejection if things don’t go perfectly.
2. Don’t be in the middle of sex
Take time before you get to the bedroom to say what you’d like. This gives your partner time to digest what you’ve said and do a little thinking about how they can provide what you need, with the pressure off.
3. Do show when telling won’t work
Especially for vulva havers, it can be easier to demonstrate the exact way you like to be touched on yourself rather than trying to explain with words alone - which is totally normal. After all, you can’t usually see what you’re doing down there.
And, if you want use a vibrator during foreplay and sex, do. There’s nothing to be ashamed of. Aura’s research shows the majority of men actually want to use one with a partner.